Monday, January 20, 2014

Nature Vs. Nurture ...

How many times have you heard "it runs in the family"?  I have always understood that phrase to be hereditary in nature ... but besides hair and eye color -- and perhaps basic bone structure -- I wonder how much that is actually true.  I wonder if much of who we are is based upon HOW we were raised/trained and not necessarily how our DNA is structured.

For example -- my dad told us the story the other night that growing up he thought he was destined to get dentures at a very young age.  His mom got them by the time she was thirty -- and it was because she had "bad teeth".  To my young dad -- why take care of your teeth if in the end, you will loose them anyway.  Now, good news is -- my dad has all (or most at least) of his original adult teeth -- but the perception of what his future COULD be ... very well COULD have come true because of his mindset.

Going along with the teeth thing ... Joe "doesn't have GOOD teeth" ... I don't know if that was ever told to him, or if that was part of how he was raised, or the fact that he has had a (ahem) cavity or two has justified this.  Several years ago Joe was getting root canal after root canal.  Crown after crown.  He even has an implant.  Since, he has made it a point to take care of his teeth -- and has had NO NEW PROBLEMS!  All of his dental work in the last 5-7 years has been because of problems that he has had with his teeth in the past.  Poor kid barely got any sleep last night because an old root canal has gone bad ... Old problems.  His mindset has changed ....

Switching gears -- I have "Fautin Hips" .... sure -- we inherit body composition from our relatives.  But it shouldn't define who we are.  We shouldn't be satisfied with being overweight simply because it "runs in the family." ... heck -- I have a few cousins who should have "the Fautin hips" ... but are very very slender.  The "Fautin hips" shouldn't justify the 60+ lbs that I need to loose .... I know of people that have made it quite the point to stay in shape and eat right because they were told that would be big and there wasn't anything they could do about it.  It ran in the family.  If the day comes that someone says something like that to my little Elsie ... let's just say the mama claws will be coming out.

The point of all this rambling -- besides to document Joe's poor tooth -- is that we have to be careful of the words we speak to others.  Even if our DNA is stacked against us -- we all struggle with math -- we all have two left feet -- we are all "big girls" -- it is up to us to define who we are.  And don't be the person who breaks someone else down .... remember how your words effect those you love most.