Monday, April 27, 2009

Giving Up

After six weeks of trying to get my "supply" up ... Joe and I have decided to stop on breast feeding, (well I would be the one to stop breast feeding ... not Joe!). This is a very sensitive subject for me -- but I feel like I need to record my thoughts in my journal -- and this is the closest thing I have to one.

After we got out of Primary's, Jace had to feed from a bottle. It was the only way to get his weight back up. BUT he got used to the bottle and doesn't suck well from me. I really am a glorified binky. It takes him over an hour to drain me out ... and then we have to bottle feed him anyway. The process was too overwheming.

I feel like I'm giving up. I feel like I'm not giving Jace everything that he needs from me. I am frustrated that it never quite worked out ... but now after almost drying myself out ... I wish that I would have tried for just a bit longer. Who knows if it would have helped. I know that many woman can't or choose not to nurse, I just had hoped that I would not have been one of them.